Living Minimally with an ADHD Family makes life easier
I am the mother of three kids Lage (13), Maria (10), Frida (6). Lage and Maria were diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia several years ago. I started minimizing our possessions when (Maria) was diagnosed.
Completely overwhelmed by trying to meet the needs of my oldest two, who needed far more help in every facet of life than an average child, I didn’t have much extra time for housework. At the same time, my youngest was only a few years old and needed lots of my attention.
Getting rid of excess stuff became a necessity because I didn’t have the energy or the time to pick up everything the kids pulled out!
My husband was working away from home, and I was responsible for all the everyday housework myself!
When I simplified toys I found the house was much cleaner! When I simplified our clothes I found I did less laundry! This inspired me to simplify even more.
When you decide to live minimally how should you begin?
If you are overwhelmed and have little time to devote to minimizing, grab 2 big black trash bags and take a decluttering walk through your home every day! One bag is for trash and the other is for things to donate. This will only take you 15 min. It will create a positive decluttering spiral for you to build on.
How to start minimizing when you’re already overwhelmed!
I was completely overwhelmed by the cards life dealt me when I decided to start decluttering my house!
I did not have much energy left to spend huge chunks of time decluttering.
My oldest, Lage, decided to declutter his room around this time. He had been complaining about the clutter in our home for months!
This inspired me, to get on with the rest of the house because I saw how much better he functioned in his minimalist room!
He challenged me on what I was willing to let him get rid of. I finally had to swallow my frustration about the money I wasted, clothes he refused to wear, and sentimental items he didn’t want to keep.
He convinced me that he felt so much better in his decluttered room, that he didn’t notice his ADHD symptoms as much, so I let him get rid of his stuff. That was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Three and a half years later he still has a minimalist room that he keeps clean. If you want to read his tips for teenagers to keep their rooms clean click here! ADHD Teenager’s Best Tips for Keeping his Room Clean and Organized
I started decluttering the rest of my house a little bit at a time. Often I went walking around with two big black trash bags one for trash and one for things to donate/sell.
The reason I used black trash bags for both is that I didn’t want the kids to see what I was getting rid of. Maria is a pack rat and if she sees someone getting rid of things often she asks if she can have them!
When you’re already overwhelmed you need to break the huge task of decluttering an entire home into many small bite sized tasks!
The Spiral Method of Decluttering!
15 minutes a DAY is all the TIME you NEED!
- Buy several rolls of trash bags.
- Clean out your car and your trunk.
- Take two trash bags one for trash and one for donations/sell items. Walk around your home for 15 minutes picking up whatever you can get rid of.
Do this every day until you feel that your home is decluttered or until you have more time and confidence to tackle a bigger project like a storage room.
- Small items should only be donated for the first six months. Especially in the beginning, I suggest you only donate items.
If you’re already overwhelmed, adding a list of items to photograph and put on eBay to your already full plate may hinder your decluttering and your motivation.
- Big items, Furniture, Baby gear, Car tires, etc can be listed on Facebook marketplace. A rule of thumb; list the items you’re selling for ½ of what you think you could sell them for.
Often we think our stuff is worth more than it is, and if you cut the price in half it will walk out of your house sooner than later.
The great thing about selling big items cheaply on Facebook is that the new owners will come to pick them up!
- Make a habit of driving things to the second-hand store every week. As soon as you are done with your 15-minute declutter throw away the trash and take the donation items to your car.
Hide the ‘Donate’ items in your trunk and once a week you can drop them off at your nearest donation center.
- Get a tax deduction. Most places that accept donations, in the USA, will give you information on how to claim a tax deduction for the items you donate.
Unfortunately, this practice is not common in Europe. If you live in the USA take the tax deduction and forget about trying to sell your items.
- Tackle specific rooms. When you have decluttered to the point where the general areas in your home are done. You may need to tackle specific rooms like your storage room.
You should have acquired enough confidence and inspiration to finish the slightly harder areas of your home.
- Shift your thinking from what to toss to what to keep! When you get to a specific room or a specific space (like a closet) shift focus from deciding what to toss in your garbage bags to deciding what to keep.
This one little mindset shift can help you eliminate whole categories of items and save you tons of time!
- Leave sentimental items for last. Most of us have a hard time getting rid of sentimental items. Save these for last, and don’t try to go through them with kids running around and pulling on you!
When you find sentimental items you are not sure about, put them all in the same box or boxes and make a space for them in the corner of your storage room or closet.
Save these until your spouse can take the kids out for the day. If you don’t have kids try to clear your schedule for an entire weekend and go through them.
It can be a good idea to invite a friend over to get a new perspective on the items. In general, if you’re just getting started decluttering 15 minutes a day wait a year to tackle your sentimental items.
This will give you some time to put all the sentimental items you find in one place, and save you time later when you are ready to go through them.
I call this the spiral method because…
- You are swirling through your house many times making decisions about general items in all the rooms. This is the bigger outer layer of the spiral.
- Each time you take your trash bags and make a sweep of the house you are coming closer to the middle of the spiral.
- When you are almost at the end of your spiral (The point in the middle) you are most likely decluttering smaller specific spaces and making fewer harder decisions about what to keep and what to toss.
The great thing about the Spiral Method is that you’re not pulling everything out of your closets or cabinets and creating a bigger mess (extra overwhelm) as you declutter!
You are not going to clean the house (other than trash) at the same time as you declutter. Don’t worry about taking stray items back to their proper places while you’re decluttering.
Only concentrate on what you can donate and what is trash.
You can get most of the excess items out of your general living spaces this way.
Make a donation box
It can be helpful to have a designated donation box for items you find in your everyday life. These are items that you know immediately want to declutter.
Put your donation box in the garage or a closet where your kids can’t see what’s in it. (If you have kids like mine who regularly pull things out of the donation box!)
For Example, if you find that you have ten spatulas when you are baking and you only need four, you can immediately put the extra in your donation box.
This Box will save you from the mental clutter and extra stress of trying to remember things that you wanted to declutter when you are walking around with your trash bags.
When you have your trash bags out you shouldn’t be racking your brain trying to remember things you saw yesterday.
If you do that you will miss seeing things, right in front of you, that you need to declutter.
Walking around collecting things to donate or throw away should be relaxing, and help you feel that you are consistently doing something to reach your goals.
In the classic story of the Turtle and Hare. It was the Turtle who won the race because he consistently took steps in the right direction.
He didn’t get sidetracked on rabbit trails, or take long breaks. He kept putting one foot in front of the other and he slowly and steadily won the race.
Conclusion
When you’re completely overwhelmed by family life it’s easy to FREEZE and do nothing about the clutter in your home or the clutter on your schedule that causes you stress and anxiety.
Don’t try to be the Hare (From the tortoise and the Hare story) when you know you’re barely keeping things together. Remember it was the tortoise who kept at it and won the race!
(Below, My son’s bedroom!)
When you have special needs kids kids with ADHD or ADHD yourself you are under more stress than the average person.
It is OK that normal methods for keeping organized, decluttering, disciplining kids, remembering homework, scheduling, and cleaning don’t work for you! It would be weird if they did!!!
I’ve tried and tried to do things like everybody else, and I just ended up spinning my wheels and slinging mud everywhere!
Annie
If you know you are a Turtle don’t try to be a Hare. Try the Spiral Method and do a little bit each day. Slow and steady wins the race!
If you need more information or book tips check out Our Favourite Resources Page
For more posts on Minimalism and ADHD click below.
How Minimalism can Reduce ADHD Symptoms I found that my kids have less ADHD Symptoms in a decluttered home.
Why Minimalists Should Embrace Colorful Minimalism! Family Minimalism should be something that suits the entire family.
Family Minimalism should not be confused with traditional Minimalism.
How it feels to have ADHD in a Thirteen-Year-Old’s Own Words Did you ever wonder what is going on in an ADHD kids mind?
Decluttering kids toys and other monsters in their rooms. How I helped my kids with their rooms.
How to cope with a child’s diagnosis, Minimalism can help How Minimalism helped me deal with my children’s diagnoses.
How to let go of things, and deal with fears How I overcame my fear of retting rid of my stuff!
Don’t make the same 10 minimizing mistakes I did!
Pictures of our home below
Copyright Annie Eklöv