How the The ADHD Minimalist was born
When My 10 year old son started throwing stuff out of his room declaring, ‘He didn’t want this junk anymore!’ He gave me the idea for The ADHA Minimalist.
I looked at the mound of clothes/toys/books/electronics on the hallway floor and my first thought was ‘He can’t get rid of all that!’ I picked up a new sweatshirt and tried to talk him into keeping it.
His response made me reevaluate the role of possessions in our home.
Our conversation started along the lines of ‘I hate that sweatshirt and all this stuff makes me feel stressed!’
As we continued talking he made me understand that having less clutter and only his favorite things in his room made him feel and function better. He felt the effects of ADHD less in a calm environment.
For the first time it dawned on me that by minimizing our possessions we could help him feel calmer in our home.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia around the age of eight. A few years later my daughter was diagnosed with ADD and dyslexia. Her tests showed she will probably struggle in school even more that her older brother does.
Hopefully we will not have to go through the Swedish screening process again with our third child. (The process for getting a diagnosis in Sweden is a lot more complex than in the USA.)
We have learning disorders on both sides of our family
My husband has siblings with ADHD and though I do not have an official diagnosis. I was tested for dyslexia when I was in grade school. They said I had a slight case and it didn’t warrant help in school.
That slight case of dyslexia gave me a headache in junior high and high school. I could not remember how to spell easy words and would occasionally switch numbers around on my math assignments.
On top of this I had trouble sitting still. I don’t know if I actually qualify for an ADHD diagnosis, but my mother says I wouldn’t sit still as a child and that I would fiddle with my hands and klick/bite my nails if I had to be still for a lengthy amount of time.
I didn’t think much about my school experience or that I was a hyperactive child until my own children began having trouble in school. I was then asked by all the healthcare professionals we met if I had trouble in school.
Both my husband and I have signs of ADHD
Our family has always been rather unorganized. Despite several attempts to create more structure in our family our efforts regularly failed. It wasn’t until recently that we stumbled onto some systems that actually work.
My husband and I have crazy jobs that do not have a 9:00am to 5:00pm schedule and require work on many weekends. We feel called to our jobs (We work in my husband’s family business) but the unstructured work hours add to the chaos.
We are not people who are naturally good at staying organized.
When you have children that need to know what is happening ahead of time, who complain when the house is a mess, who have trouble finishing projects, who have sudden tantrums, trouble with basic school work, and need to work on social skills, it forces you to change in order to make things better for them.
Changing ourselves to help our kids
It has taken years for us to create just a little structure and organization in our family. I have read a number of books on parenting children with ADHD grasping for any help I could get my hands on.
I know what it feels like to have your child in a really dark place and in desperation call a psychiatrist for help. I know what it’s like to worry about your kids and wonder if they will pass their grade in school, have any friends, or manage to get a job.
I know what it feels like to call all the doctors you know and still feel like you are not getting the right help for your child. I know how it feels when tears are never far from the surface. That’s all because I love my kids.
A blogger with dyslexia
I have always been interested in writing which is rather funny considering I can’t spell to save my life, and I am not good at grammar.
Moving to Sweden from the USA and learning Swedish probably made my English spelling worse. I finally decided that I would give blogging a try, despite the fact that my readers will undoubtedly be better spellers than I am.
I believe there are more families out there who need to know they are not alone.
There is hope after a diagnosis. My husband and I are on a journey to simplify our lives in order to help our children.
Come along on this simplifying journey with us. We will share some tools we have found helpful as well as tips for every day Family life. You don’t have to start from scratch, and We hope you will share with us what has helped your family.
Parenting is my greatest challenge
Parenting is one of the hardest things we do in life. Children are not born with their own users manual, and when your child doesn’t respond to ‘normal’ parenting techniques it’s easy to feel lost, frustrated or even depressed. It can be comforting to know that others have been in your shoes.
None of us are perfect, definitely not me. Being a parent has given me some of the best days of my life, and some of the worst. I am still learning, still driven by love, on my Journey through struggles, tears, and triumphs always wanting the best for those who call me Mom.